Many of us have dreamed of getting married at some point in our lives. Some of us forever, some of us, well not so much. Regardless of the opinions we share about marriage, it still is the biggest step a couple can take. To promise to share the rest of their lives together. Paper or no paper. Blessing received or not.
I, myself would love to live in a polyandrous world, with many husbands by my side, each offering their own unique contribution to our union.
One man with good, healthy genes as the father of my children and provider of stability, both morally and economically, one intellectual who will inspire me to question and challenge the unknown, one for romantic purposes (say no more), another who can create culinary delights, another whisking me off to faraway places and teaching me all about different cultures, languages and customs, another to be a frustrated, flawed, complex, emotional and creative soul who keeps me on my toes and challenges my EQ, another worldly man who is secure in himself and can offer invaluable wisdom, and just one more if I may (please?), a man who can be my personal comedian to light up a room with his charm and cockiness, oohh and erm.. one more please.. a man's man, who can make a fire from scratch (like Bear Grylls) and catch fish, and build a bed, and a raft, and who knows what else, if we ever manage to get stranded on a deserted island...
So, it's clear friends, that in my (fantasy) world, I don't want for much, and so, I quietly retrieve into my (fantasy) house in the country with 7 dogs (NOT cats!), waiting patiently for my "all in one"...
As soon as I think it will never happen, it will forever remain a dream, I meet couples, amazing couples, who inspire me to keep the dream alive. It is possible, and the reality is that many girls out there ARE very lucky to find that one man, who holds within him, many of the qualities mentioned above, however just to put a spanner in the works, we all have different boxes that need ticking.
Yeeees, ( she says dramatically) Just one man, who manages to be and do so much and then some. Faithful, trustworthy and secure. It is rare, it is VERY rare indeed, to find that man, who helps you become a woman. But, he does exist.
Most of us have kissed enough frogs, and lived through enough heartache (uff I severly dislike that word). Enough to realize how incredibly lucky we are when we do manage to find either, the-already-as-humanly-as-possible-perfect-diamond, in midst of all the rough (thank you x-girlfriend!) or the diamond which still needs a bit of polishing. (Just to clarify..."polishing" is meant as to be life experience)
So, when it comes to marriage and ticking all the right (and sometimes wrong) boxes, when a woman decides to say yes to the man right for her, his flaws, baggage and attributes, you can bet your last rolo that she has really thought about it, and she is NOT saying yes lightly.
When, it's a yes, it's a yes coming from a place of yes, with all the best intentions in the world. Because really, who in their right and healthy mind, would say yes to something that's bad for them?
In the same breath, when it comes to the wedding day and the preparations involved, a woman does not take it lightly to ensure that everything meets your mutual approval. She might be the decision maker at times, but only because she, by then, hopefully, would know you well enough to be making decisions on your behalf, as a unit, as a husband and wife, and ultimately, as a family. It takes a strong person with strong shoulders to take on this tremendous task. The first of many. So, if you'd like an indication of what your life together might be like, try to pay attention to the small details and decisions made, that lead up to your big day together.
Over the next couple of weeks I will be sharing some advice on how to look for the right photographer for your big day, things to look out for, where to draw inspiration from, where to start, how to make the most of every minute of planning, how everybody wins (get what you want), and also how to look for vendors that can help make your day just the way you'd like it (and on any budget!).
If you've read this far, I salute you! The next couple of posts will be much shorter. I promise.